Fire

I hit rock bottom.

I was missing class a lot, mixing up my priorities, not taking care of myself. I was literally bed ridden for two days because of strep.

In that time, he came to move his stuff and we got to talking.

Long story short, he's winning the break up. What the hell, I am the breaker, not the breakee, I should be winning. Instead I'm a mess, a depressed mess. During my time on the couch due to antibiotics, I was forced to reevaluate my life. What the fuck am I doing, letting this overwhelming sadness take over?

I have a fire lit under my ass. I'm more motivated than ever and I'm going to prove to everyone that I'm doing not just OK, but fantastic.

Valentine

I'm so full of emotions I can't even express them properly.
I'm exhilarated and depressed and happy and miserable and ecstatic and lonely and surrounded and loved and sad.

I don't know how to be. I keep telling myself this is what I wanted. And I know that. I've known that for a long time, but starting over is hard.

Have to learn sometime, I guess?

This was my first single Valentine's day in a while. He left a flower on my car. I had a meltdown.

Getting out of bed is hard. Trying to be a grown up and do grown up things is hard. Feeling like I'm barely keeping it together is extremely difficult to bear.

It'll get better, it has to.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FlE_u9WptwI

Lone.

I don't want to air my laundry on Facebook. I keep shit minimal on Twitter. I have't taken a picture of any food to put on Instagram.

I've been checking in a lot of places on Foursquare, though. Going out is a distraction.

I did that thing I've wanted to do. I feel miserable. However, I'm also on the precipice of something amazing.

I'm so full of life now. I've rid myself of dread and gloom and there is more room for happiness and exploration.

I truly don't know how to feel about myself or what to do.

I'm going to get a cat.