A Derby Recap!

(This was a test article I wrote for a local magazine, which I now am totally a writer for.)

Happy Valley Derby Darlins Bid Adieu to 2012 Season with Final Bout
(rebeccasfrost@gmail.com)

No matter which league you skate with or represent, when there is another bout, you do your best to attend. You cheer for the other league, even if they have kicked your ass a few times. You scream plays they should have attempted instead of that mess of a jam, you pound on the floor with your hands (assuming you’re on the ground in suicide seating right against the track) cheering for a fallen skater to get up faster, and you definitely feel for the losing team. Roller derby requires support. Roller derby is a sisterhood. I’m not a very good sister, because this was my first bout at the Roller Hive in Spanish Fork, and how I wish I had come out more often to support the Happy Valley Derby Darlins because damn, they put on a good show.

The Roller Hive is a proper name for the Food-4-Less that hosts these girls, as the excitement buzzing through the building is felt from the parking lot. I felt a small thrill walking into the building. The trip from Salt Lake City to Spanish Fork was much like a pilgrimage. I travelled for what felt like days (only an hour) to pay respect to this sport I so worship. Everyone in the building, from players to referees, to spectators, gathered for the same reason: to watch some roller derby! I felt excited, as I always do on bout day, to be a part of this cult on wheels.

It was the final bout of the 2012 season for the Happy Valley Derby Darlins, and fighting for victory were two of the three teams that make up Happy Valley: the Rollin’ Rebellion and the Sirens of Steel. It was also night for celebration. Girls from each team were celebrating birthdays (Chiquita Wambamya of the Rollin’ Rebellion and Shimmy Sham of the Sirens of Steel) as was one of the referees (Scars Tupruvit). After the National Anthem, sung beautifully by Chiquita Wabamya, blurs of purple from the Rollin’ Rebellion and shades of orange from Sirens of Steel flew around the track during team introductions. The audience chuckled with the announcement of player names (it is requisite that a skater come up with a name for her or himself, something funny or designed to instill terror in opposing players).  To show respect for their challengers, the Sirens of Steel wore purple socks. Rollin’ Rebellion…also wore purple socks. Still have to keep some pride.

The first couple of jams are always the most difficult. The jams are clumsy. Skaters are trying to find their groove. The first minutes of the game proved no differently. Some skaters fumbled while jammers easily broke through uncoordinated packs. The second jam included a no-lead-jammer situation. In derby, the first jammer to break through the pack has the power to call off the jam. Hyp-knock-it Therapy from the Rollin’ Rebellion broke through first, but was sent to the penalty box. The Sirens jammer was then forced to skate for the whole two minutes, getting knocked down, getting back up, then trying again. If there was one consistent thing I noticed about the Rollin’ Rebellion, they built some excellent walls, making it extremely difficult for an orange player to break through.

After the breaking in the first couple of jams, skaters started to find their way. The Sirens of Steel utilized a defensive jamming technique I always get excited watching. When the jammers are released to attempt their first pass through the pack, one jammer will act as a blocker and hit and block her opposing jammer. It was a reminder that the jammer can do more than just pray she would make it by four other girls without incident. The Sirens used this maneuver several times, gaining a few feet and usually earning lead jammer status.

The Rollin’ Rebellion also worked their pivot. The pivot is the only other girl on a team who wears a panty on her helmet with a bold stripe down the middle. She is the last line of defense. She is usually in charge. Whenever Lady Hipcracker wore the pivot panty, she put it to good use. She skated in front, waiting like a cougar for the Sirens jammer, and would attack her, defending her team.

New skater, Devastator Cookie, received lead jammer status for the Rebellion and the opposing jammer was sitting in the box. The announcer exclaimed, “Power jam!” and cheers swelled. Devastator Cookie had the opportunity to skate as hard as she could to earn points while her opponent was incapacitated. This happened a few times during the night with different players, and the look on their faces when they finally decide to call off the jam when the opponent is released from the box is priceless. It’s a look of “Finally, I can stop skating for a minute.” Fellow skaters in the crowd smile and empathize with, “I know girl, that shit is exhausting.”

Jammers from the Rollin’ Rebellion Chiquita Wabamya, Kicking Assets, Hyp-knock-it Therapy racked up the most points for their team while Madeye, Bam to the Bone and Acid Burn made their Sirens proud. The final minutes of the bout were polar opposite of the opening jams. Skaters were in the zone. Others were suddenly impossible to knock down and skaters suddenly had the grace of ballerinas. Hyp-knock-it Therapy gained enough points to bring the Rollin Rebellion score close to the Sirens of Steel. Ultimately, points earned by Madeye in the previous jam brought the Sirens to victory, closing the game at 92 to 106.

For the final game of the Happy Valley Derby Darlins 2012 season, it was worth the drive. The league has made the WFTDA’s (Women’s Flat Track Derby Association) list of apprentice leagues, putting them on the path for competitions and, from the looks of it, glory. Unfortunately, Saturday’s bout was the last bout to be had in this Food-4-Less, and it is unclear where the girls will travel to next to continue their Happy Valley reign. I will travel for them, because derby girls are in this sport together and we do anything for each other, including driving south on I-15 through Utah Valley. Like I said, anything.